Forty-eight hours after last Thursday's chemo, I started to feel very, very strange. Suddenly my face and scalp felt hot and tingly, my stomach queasy (fear?), and a nasty headache rushed me to my bed with aspirin. Fortunately, I was able to fall asleep briefly and wake up feeling like myself again for a few hours.
This sequence continued through the weekend with four more episodes of sudden onset, relieved by immediate retreat to reclining and complete relaxation. (I now know why our therapy group gave us guided meditations to listen to. The mind games feel like small miracles.)
Since I hadn't anticipated side effects to start with this very first round, we had a few fun things planned for the weekend. I made it through, but in the future I think it best simply not to make plans. Even the pressure of having plans scares me a little bit.
I will need to learn to use my "good hours" to best advantage and rejoice in them -- but not to wander too far from quiet settings to accommodate sudden bouts of craziness. Not being able to rely on your body to perform predictably is disconcerting, as some of you know. I had forgotten. One minute I'm normal, the next I have to simply excuse myself.
This morning the sun shone, I felt good, and chose NOT to go to Facebook or email, but to pull weeds in the veggie garden. Surprised myself. How priorities fall into place when you suspect you have such limited time to enjoy the day. Second priority was to update the blog, as I can see people are checking in and I SO appreciate the concern.
The fun stuff I did this weekend:
1) Live bluegrass band and dinner on the deck at Spats with fifteen friends Saturday evening. Glorious.
2) Sunday morning visits, back-to-back, with my brother-in-law and then a friend (and his new wife) I hadn't seen in more than a decade. (Photo: my friend's grandson Owen is recovering from open heart surgery and surprised me with cuddles and repeated smiles). Glorious.
3) Sunday afternoon friend Susan and I saw "Jersey Boys" at the Appleton Performing Arts Center. We had WONDERFUL seats. I haven't been quite that awed by talented men singing and dancing in some time. Glorious.
Naptime. Thanks for listening.
I remember the tingly feeling. I would have my chemo on Monday and by Wednesday my whole body felt like someone hit me with a baseball bat. My hair hurt and it hurt to touch me. I was told it's the chemo killing all the good cells along with the bad ones.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could hug you and make it all better.
Love Dianne
Mary, God bless you for the courageous inspiration you are to others. I still hope we'll meet some day face to face. In the meantime keep the faith & stay strong. My best to you.
ReplyDeleteMarilyn (Geri's sister)
Wow, that's a full weekend even without all the suckiness of chemo.
ReplyDeleteThank you for letting us tag along.
You are glorious!
Deb