No Time to Wait

There's no time to wait.

I've been fortunate. For the past nine months I've been forced to slow down, explore my full range of emotions (!!), and boil myself down to the "essence of Mary Murray."

I couldn't sleep last night. I got up and read my email. There, alone, in the middle of yet another dark night, I learned that almost a month ago an acquaintance of mine died of recurrent breast cancer. When I last saw and spoke to her in October, she didn't know the cancer was back. She died on January 7.

Today I feel more strongly than ever that there's no time to wait. We must become who we really want to be -- now.

So today I begin an experiment I've been thinking about for several months.

While I was sick I gave a lot of thought to what I wanted to do when I got well. Mostly I daydreamed about a solo road trip. It would serve as my turning point -- returning to life after hibernation. But the longer I entertained the road-trip idea and the more I explored my motives for such a trip, the more I realized that plan didn't quite hit the mark. It didn't make the best use of my time.

Of course I knew the part I'd like most about a road trip would be sitting in coffee shops, hearing about the lives of others, then sharing those stories with the people I'd eventually come back home to. (Lord knows I've shared MY life thoroughly enough this year, blow by blow. Now I want to hear about YOURS.)

It dawned on me that I didn't need to spend the time, money, or energy required of a road trip, especially when it wasn't really a change of scenery I was looking for. I could, with a little bold creative effort, skip right to the coffee shop meetings and the sharing with "my people" right here at home. After all, I'd spent months hiding out. I had a lot of catching up to do before I'd be ready to take off on a journey alone. Clearly, it's people and relationships I care about when I'm not in my pajamas licking my wounds.

So here's my bold creative effort:

I plan to be at Harmony Cafe every morning from 9 to 10 a.m., Monday through Friday, until further notice. I am there to fulfill a selfish pleasure -- that is, hearing about your life, one on one, until I've had my fill (ever?) and have caught up with all the friends and acquaintances I've been waiting to catch up with the past nine months.

I have dedicated a calendar to "Harmony Cafe Meetings." As of this moment, all 9 to 10 a.m. slots, Monday through Friday, are OPEN.

Please e-mail me to book your time. Coffee or Tea is on me.

1) If the time and/or location is impossible for you, I am likely to bend a little. (The rigid schedule above is for one reason only: I prefer to get in a groove as to where I'm supposed to be when.)

2) It doesn't matter how well I know you or how recently we've talked. It doesn't matter if we've EVER talked. It doesn't matter why you think you might enjoy spending an hour with me -- just please don't try to sell me anything. I'm gutsy enough to pack up and leave -- rapidly -- if that happens.

3) It doesn't matter how many responses/appointments result from this open invitation. No one (but me) needs to know how this works out! If I'm completely rejected and no one wants to fill the time slots at Harmony Cafe (again, 9-10 a.m. Monday through Friday), I will thoroughly enjoy my own company in one of my favorite spots. (Those of you who know me best know that this is true. As long as there are laptops and books and pens and notebooks at my side I am a happy camper.) Besides, I need motivation to get out of the house; I need distraction from the lingering effects of cancer and "shit on a shingle" as one blog reader so aptly put my latest affliction.

I'm here at booklady@tds.net with my calendar, hoping to see you soon.

Harmony Café - Fox Valley
233 E. College Avenue
Appleton, Wisconsin 54911
(920) 734-2233